I'm a pretty pony...

Not me of course, but that's the first line that Jasmine's rocking horse sings. Apparently it's quite the popular toy; my sister has one for her son and she has at least one other friend that has one as well. It's a little rocking horse which makes noises if you press one ear and sings (the mouth actually moves) when you press the other. It is by far one of the best Christmas presents we have ever bought one of the kids. Jasmine loves it and has the song just about memorized. Cynthia (my sister) warned me I would get sick of the song but so far it's just so cute to see Jasmine ride her horsey and sing along with it that I can't get enough of it! I'll have to post a picture tomorrow.

I knew I was asking for it!

It seems to happen every time; I stay up late and end up suffering for it the next day. This time John and I accidentally stayed up until 4 A.M. Tue morning and I got a call for a birth at 7:54 A.M. Tue morning. What are the odds? I actually had been hired to provide after care for this family since the parents wanted to UC (unassisted childbirth, for those that don't recognize the initials) but by the time I was 5 minutes away from the families home the mother hadn't delivered, decided to transfer to the hospital, and wanted me to meet her there. I had never met the family before, except over the phone, so didn't expect to stay for the birth but ended up there for the entire thing and for 4 or so hours of after care. It made for a very long day since they lived more than an hour and a half away from town. I didn't end up getting home until 7:30, the older 3 boys didn't come home from a friends house until after 9 (and they brought the two friends with so didn't go to sleep until after 10:00 P.M.), and I found out that I was out of town when my in-laws came home from Utah and they ended up having to get a taxi to get home since I had the van and John was unable to pick them up. I now have to apologize to them for not meeting them at the airport, though I do put some of the blame on them since they told me they were coming home today not yesterday and never called to confirm the date or time they would be arriving. I do have to say, for never having met the family, I did some good work for them. I just wish they had waited until I got to their house before deciding to transfer because it would then have been unnecessary!

The house is quiet.

Hard to believe that all of my children are asleep or at a friends' house (hopefully asleep, seeing as how it's almost 4 in the morning). Jasmine went to sleep around 11:00-11:30 (she took a late nap) and hasn't woken up and joined us yet. It's amazing. John and I sat up and played the Wii for a few hours. Stupid really, but how often do we get to do that without kids or the dog running in front of us or begging for a turn (not that the dog begs for a turn, she just begs period). It was really nice having these last few hours to be alone with John even if all we were doing was playing a video game. Now if only my eye would stop twitching! It's been doing it since Saturday; something to do with extreme fatigue. Funny how that works!

Thank heaven for snow blowers.

Recently I had a client's husband offer to fix up a snow blower for me in lieu of a payment. I graciously accepted, and he dropped it off this week before our huge winter storm hit. John and I fired it up today to remove our foot or more high snow drifts and I swear it brought a tear to my eye. After we were done I took it to my sisters house and she used it there. I don't think she wanted to give it back (you know you didn't, Kimberly). Thank heavens for snow blowers and for the men that know how to fix them (or at least know how to fix them and have the time to do it; that's John's main problem, he just doesn't have the time).

New beginnings.

Those of you that read this and happen to be members of the LDS Church may be familiar with the phrase "New Beginnings". For those of you that aren't, it's the title of a special meeting held for the girls when they turn twelve. It introduces them to the Young Women (teenagers) program within the church, and represents all the new emotions, activities, etc that will happen since they have taken this next step toward maturity. I realize we use it within the church in reference to the girls but it seemed fitting to use it for my post title tonight as I write about Jordan, my now twelve year old son. Last night we celebrated Jordan's 12th year on earth. 12 years since he was placed in my arms for the first time, since the first time I kissed his sweet face, since we learned how to nurse together, and I learned what it is to be a mother. I'm still learning the last, and Jordan has been with me for every new step along the way. This past summer John took our first born child for a special father-son camping trip. Just the two of them out in the wild, enjoying each others company, and talking about the things a boy needs to know to become a man. I wasn't there for the trip, and that's as it should be. But because I wasn't there it didn't really hit me right away what a big milestone this is in my sons life. Last night was too busy for thinking, and not that I'm not busy tonight getting ready for Christmas, but tonight I have a moment to sit down and reflect on the 12 years that have passed and the many more we will have together. On the first Sunday in January Jordan will receive the priesthood; in a few more years he will graduate from high school, a few months from that he will go on a mission, then college and leaving home for good. The last years have flown by so quickly and the ones we have left seem so short. Jordan, you taught me to be the mother I am. Some things have been good and some not so good; as the oldest you bore the brunt of my learning experience. We've laughed, we've cried, but most of all we've loved. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I see the way you have grown and matured over the years and I look forward to the man you will one day be. The day will come when you will leave me for new horizons and a different kind of love and I will let you go with a smile on my face because that's what good moms do. Don't think that it means I won't miss you every day; I will. But I'll also be comforted by the thought of what a good person you are and know that you'll make good choices even when I'm not there looking over your shoulder. So for now, I will cry a few tears for my sweet boy who is no longer a baby and then dry my eyes and make sure I spend the years I have left as the main woman in your life reminding you of how much I love you and how proud I am of you. And if occasionally I shed a tear or two for that baby boy, don't tease me too badly. Let me enjoy my cry and go on with your day knowing how much I love you.

And life goes on.

Nothing new, really, to report. I just didn't want you guys to think I had forgotten you. I was thinking that things had calmed down a bit and I could have a rest and then a quick over view of my week next week flashed through my head. I'm on call for a birth, though in this case I'll just be providing afterbirth care, tomorrow is my anniversary and we'll be going out, the next day we're going out for my mil's birthday (both days sans kids!), the next day is Jordan's b-day and party, the day after that is Christmas eve, and the following day is Christmas. Now where in there am I supposed to rest and relax?

Miracles do happen.

My daughter slept last night. I realize this is a pretty common place, but for us the PLACE where she slept wasn't common. Jasmine actually went to sleep around 9:00 P.M. last night and didn't wake up and get into bed with us until 6:15 A.M. I can't even remember the last time that happened. Not only did she sleep through the night, she actually did it on a night when I was able to sleep as well. For some reason she usually chooses to sleep soundly on the nights when I stay up all night doing whatever. Of course it couldn't go perfectly, some guy decided to call the wrong number (mine) around 1:30 or so, but I was able to fall back to sleep immediately. It was an amazing feeling waking up with my alarm clock and not having to jump over her to get to it. Now if only she would decide to do this every night.

Almost home free.

The most amazing thing ever has happened. Jasmine is (almost) potty-trained! And there I go, back to the potty stories that I initially started with. But isn't that the greatest thing you've ever heard? The thought of having my (current?) youngest out of diapers and no new one starting diapers on the foreseeable horizon is one of the best things that has happened to me in years. Actually, this has been a pretty good week. My house is actually starting to come together again, the boys are doing a good job with schoolwork (Jordan and Jared were done for the day by 1:00 P.M.) and I have managed to figure out presents for my hard to buy for mother and in-laws. I wasn't sure how the week was going to go, since I got some not so thrilling news on Sun, but overall I've been pleased. And yes, I am now going to head to bed and leave you with my usual cliff hanger. Until tomorrow.....

Double posts!

Aren't you all lucky today? Actually, after some of the monster posts I've done in the past, this one should be a bit of a breath of fresh air since it will be short and sweet. We went to a local buffet tonight for dinner, and after we managed to brave the elements and get everyone buckled back in the car a MAJOR realization hit me. I've been talking off and on lately about possibly having more kids (something that never would have occurred to me if my tubal last March didn't get canceled, which is another post in itself) and when I looked at my minivan filled with children it hit me that we would have to get a bigger vehicle. Like, minibus type of vehicle. We're already full up in our 8 passenger minivan and if we had two more girls (and yes, they would be girls. I've never been wrong about this before, you can ask my clients and my husband, and don't intend to start now) we would have to get one of those 11-12 passenger vans. Definitely a thought to make a person pause. I don't mind the size, I learned to drive on a big van and I like to sit high up when driving, but the cost can make you shudder. Those things aren't cheap and since they don't make a lot of them for consumers (mostly commercial sales) the resale cost stays pretty high. IF you can find one used, that is. People tend to hang onto them for years. Definitely a thought to ponder.

Winter's here to stay.

Alright, I know it's been here for awhile but I'm just now getting the chance to blog about it ok? We had a very mild summer this year, much cooler than usual with lots of flooding this past spring. Every one assured me that it meant we had a mild winter in store for us. Well, every one was WRONG! We usually don't start getting our freezing temps until January, but they've started early this year and with a vengeance. The temp outside is currently around 0 and the wind chill makes it drop to maybe 10-20 below. That's the kind of weather that can make a person seriously question why they were crazy enough to move to such a location. Well, I can truthfully say that we had lots of reasons all of which were good and valid but none of which exist any longer. Anyone know of some decent houses or lots for sale in one of the warmer states (as long as it is within 30min of a temple and still gets a bit of snow in the winter)?

Enough misery to go around.

So, last night wasn't the best night ever. John went to bed at 9:30 and 2 hrs later was still awake. I know this because that's when I fell asleep. Fast forward to 1:40 and both girls are climbing in bed with me and John is nowhere to be found. I assumed he got up to do something with work (it's not entirely unusual for a program to have to be started at odd hours), and started to get the girls settled in when I realized Jasmine was holding back vomit (there is no mistaking that jerking torso). We didn't quite make it to the bathroom. I sent Jocelyn for John to come help out and fortunately clean up was pretty quick and easy but she spent the next hour or so running her razor sharp toenails up and down my leg (and yes, those toenails are now history). I kicked Jocelyn out after I found a wet spot on the side of my bed where she had been sitting, so at least she wasn't there spreading the love. Next morning I go to get the boys up and find Jared clutching his stomach and groaning and Joseph was complaining about a headache, so I sent everyone back to bed. By 9 Jared had thrown up (and other stuff), Jasmine was acting fine but had the other stuff going on all day, and the rest of the kids were great. Around 10 I took off to get stage stairs for the church Christmas party and almost killed myself (seems to be a common theme lately). Some guy didn't like me going the speed limit and passed me on the left going 45 in a 30. This annoyed me so much that while fuming about it and thinking about all the fun stuff waiting at home, I managed to make a left turn onto the wrong side of a divided highway and barely missed a head on collision. Did I mention I did this in front of a cop? Fortunately he ignored me and I continued on my way only to get to the rental store and find that the stairs wouldn't fit into my vehicle with the back two rows of seats in. I headed back home to take them out, once again failing to notice a crucial traffic law. A one way street I was traveling on turned into a two-way and I didn't notice I was in the left lane until I (once again) almost ran head long into another vehicle. I swear, I was beginning to think I was possessed by my dad. He's actually run through the cross guards at a train track because he was too busy thinking and off in his own world to notice the crossbars were down. I managed to get back to the store and to church with no problems only to realize the stairs were too wide to fit through the doors at church. I went inside to tell the other two women I was there and came upon them telling their own misery stories. One womans husband failed to put his vehicle completely in park and got knocked down and almost run over that morning and then she came to church where another woman promptly locked her out of the building with no coat, keys, or cell phone. The other woman then went to practice on the organ and couldn't hear her ringing the doorbell. In 10 degree weather, being locked outside is no laughing matter. She managed to find a door that was locked but hadn't latched all the way and got in and started setting the tables only to realize that most of the buildings tablecloths were missing, the butcher paper was running out, and she didn't have a key to the library. The second woman from our ward (the organist was from a different ward) got in a fender bender last night and waited an hour in the cold to file a police report only to find out she didn't have to because the damage was less than $1000. She missed the class she was heading to and the store she wanted to go to closed while she waited. She also found out this morning that she made a mistake with her checking account and now owed $360 in NSF fees. Plus she had to cover the missing $800. We almost scrapped the Christmas party then and there. Luckily things went better. One of the three sets of doors turned out to be just big enough to get the stage stairs through (but not without crushing my finger first) and a third woman showed up with keys to the library and we were able to get another roll of butcher paper out. That's when I took off so I could grab some groceries and feed the kids again. I didn't want to pass around the flu so I didn't go tonight, but hopefully we didn't jinx it and keep the party from going smoothly.

My cliff hanger

So do you like the way I left my last post with a total cliff hanger? That birth just may have killed me (cue the horror movie music). I don't know though, the Lord works in mysterious ways and this may just have been one of them. I had a mom call me on a Fri morning to report she was in labor with her water possibly broken. She then proceeded to labor on and off until her delivery on Mon morning. Not quite as bad as it sounds, she had several breaks in there where the labor stopped and she was able to get a good bit of rest, but unfortunately I was unable to. In that entire time I probably got 8-12 hrs sleep. When I got home from the birth Mon, I got Joseph off to school and the rest of the kids going for the day and then completely crashed. I managed to get maybe one-two hrs of sleep in before I got a phone call from another soon-to-be due mom and friend and ended up dragging myself out of bed to take care of the kids and whatever else around the house. By 3:00 I was lying down on the couch almost completely out of it again and crashed hard when I finally made it to bed that night. It took me several days to recover. Flash forward a few days and I noticed on Facebook that a former client of mine had delivered. She had her baby at 12:30 A.M. Tue morning. That's right, TUESDAY morning. If we hadn't announced that we were moving and she hadn't been worried that I wouldn't get back in time for the birth (I intended to drive back for the three births I had lined up) she wouldn't have changed to a different practitioner. If she hadn't changed, then Mon night I would have gotten called out to her birth and I wouldn't have left to come home until maybe 4:30 or so Tue morning. Her home is maybe a 40min drive out of town. Can you imagine me making that drive back? I truly feel that I wouldn't have made it safely. With the degree of fatigue I was dealing with, there is every possibility I would have ended up in a ditch on the side of a lonely highway (all highways in ND are lonely, there just aren't that many people in the state to keep them hugely busy). Who knows why we felt prompted to try to buy this house in Montana, but I'm willing to bet that was one of the reasons.

I'm sorry, so sorry....

Please accept my apologiesss. What, you don't remember that song? Don't worry, I won't sing it but I promise I'm thinking it. I guess I've just been so disheartened with all the stuff for the house, and going crazy with stress and lack of sleep for work, and home school (not that home school is stressful, it just keeps me busy) and regular public school, and the ward Christmas party and the birth experience survey that I haven't kept up with this the way I should. I'll do better from now on. Ok, house. Our deadline for her counter-offer for owner financing came and went with no response. She finally replied 2-3 days after our offer expired stating that she was interested and would get back to us. Here it is Dec 7th and we haven't heard from her since. Our realtor called hers every day last week wanting to know what was going on, so her realtor finally drove by the house only to find a moving van. Yep that's right, she was moving all her stuff out and heading to Texas (one more crazy independent coming your way Julie) where her fiance lives. We finally gave up and called it quits. We emailed our termination letter to our realtor today and should be getting our earnest money back soon. Our families lives have been on hold for the last two and a half months and finally enough was enough. Our realtor believes that the seller is just waiting until her contract with her guy runs out and then she will approach us privately. Not the most honorable of options, but I can believe it considering how much she (the seller) dislikes him. So, for the moment we are on hold. Good news for my April client but terrible news for us financially. That's @ $2000 down the hole which could have gone to bills or something else. We're not taking the house off the market just yet. I'm sure it won't sell until spring anyway, and we might as well leave it on in case this woman approaches us privately. It really upsets me that I've lost two births due to this, but it may have all been for the best since one of them just might have killed me. But I'll save that story for tomorrows post.

Are we done?

Can't answer that one, because I don't know. The seller had until 5:00 MT to respond to our new offer and yet once again we have heard nothing. Makes me want to call her up and demand to know what her problem is. Hey, if she can call me at 7:00 in the morning (knowing full well she's not supposed to contact us) and make my kid late for school I should be able to return the favor. We have spent so much time and so much money on this house purchase only to end up with a very real possibility of getting nothing out of the deal. It's breaking my heart, and driving me insane with stress having our lives up in the air and at the whim of this crazy woman.

And waiting.....

Alright, I know I haven't written in forever. It's hard to get the motivation up sometimes when I don't even know if anyone is reading these posts, but writing often makes me feel better so here I am back at the keyboard. The house. Wow, that could make for one monster post. I'll try and keep it brief. We had begun working out the details about who would pay for what when it comes to house repairs, when I got a call from our loan agent. Our new closing date (Nov 13th) was quickly approaching, so he had our appraiser start the paperwork for the house and had received some bad news. It cost us $75 to find out that the house is unappraisable. There are no comparable homes in the area, average house size is 1200-1500 sq ft and this one is 8000, so he has no way of figuring out what a house like this would normally sell for in that area. If he can't figure out what it would sell for, he can't assure the bank that they aren't providing a mortgage that is worth more than the house and without that assurance the bank won't provide a loan. So not only will OUR credit union not provide a mortgage for this home, NO lender will provide a mortgage for this house. That means we are now without a loan and this woman is up a creek. When we first found out that this may be a problem, John and I started brain storming and decided to request owner financing. This woman doesn't have to sell and can take all the time in the world (if you ignore the fact that she's 80 and could be on the final countdown), so it won't matter to her if it takes us 15 yrs to finish purchasing the house. Which is what we offered. We offered a $5000 down payment and 15yr loan at 3% interest. Oh, and no repairs done to the house. We offered to do them all. She expressed interest and asked for the weekend to think it over, which we were happy to agree to. I'm sure we'll have to go back and agree to a bigger down payment, but she has agreed to wait until our house here sells so we are prepared for that. We won't agree to much more, if any, when it comes to interest since we are offering to do all the repairs but we'll have to see how that goes. So that's where we're at. If she accepts, that means Billings is it for us. We may not ever be able to sell the house, so we better settle in and enjoy it.

Still waiting.

The addendum. I realized I mentioned it in my last post, but didn't explain. We received our inspection report back on Mon and, as we expected, there are a lot of things that need to be fixed. A few of those things, including the roof, are items the VA will insist be repaired before they will approve our mortgage. So, we submitted an addendum asking for that the VA necessary items be repaired (just those items that a licensed contractor needs to repair; anything a do-it-yourselfer can do we'll do ourselves. With this womans track record of shall we say "inventive" work, we don't want her doing anything herself) and asked that our closing date be extended to allow for the repairs. We haven't heard back yet and she has until Tue to reply. According to our realtor they are getting estimates, but I came home from church today to find a message from the seller stating that she would call back later. There was no explanation for her call and she didn't even identify herself (thank goodness for caller i.d.). I have no clue what that was about. Oh well, back to the waiting game.

Good news!

We had two showings of the house here in MN on Wed and from all accounts it went well. I also talked to our realtor and he said he's expecting to get an offer from a couple that saw the house last week. Their realtor mentioned the state of the carpet might be a problem, but I had already told Scott (our realtor) that we were changing it so he was able to tell them and voila! we have a viable couple. It does mean we will not be willing to consider much by the way of closing costs, etc since we've done so much to the house, but I have some ideas worked out and it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully by Mon-Tue of next week we'll have an offer. I don't know if we'll take it, if I remember correctly this couple has a house to sell too and we can't afford to wait around for a few months for them to do so, but the fact that there is interest in the house is awesome. If they get pre-approved to buy the house even if they don't sell theirs first and the offer is reasonable, we'll accept. So, still the waiting game, but it looks like the end is in sight. Now if only our seller would contact us with info about our addendum!

I finished!

Our paperwork is done; yep, you heard me right. I said, "Our paperwork is DONE." I mailed the last few documents today and I should have a break from paperwork for the next few weeks. We still have details to work out, such as changing our interest rate and the amount of points we'll pay (none) since this house hasn't sold yet. But overall, we should be pretty good. I'm worried about the sellers reaction to the repairs she's being asked to do and the closing costs she's being asked to pay (closing costs I was assured we had already asked for, but apparently not) but all I can do now is wait. I hate waiting.

Ok, not quite time to move.

We got the results of our home inspection for the new place today and it wasn't very pretty. Fortunately for us, most of the things on it are repairs that the VA will insist be done before the purchase of the house. Meaning, the seller has to pay for them. Which includes the roof, something we had wanted to replace anyway! It also means our closing date has been moved back to Nov 13, which gives me a good bit more time to finish this paperwork. I'll get it all done this week, hopefully tomorrow, and then spend the next three weeks packing things the way I really want them.

Almost time to move.

October 30th is coming up fast and I'm just not ready. We don't have an offer on the house, so we have to redo our mortgage to take that into consideration, which means my loan agent is not thrilled with me. Doing this amount of paperwork in 2 wks is a hassle for everyone. On the other hand, as of October 30th, everything will be worth it. There are a lot of ugly paint colors in the house at the moment, but we can easily fix paint so I thought I would post a few pictures of the house so everyone can get an idea of what it's like. The first is a picture of the horrifyingly ugly pink Pepto-Bismal master bedroom and the second photo is of the gym located on the first level of the third basement.

School conferences

School conferences are a lot easier this year, what with Jordan and Jared homeschooling. Joseph is an absolute angel at school, and is always well ahead of his class. Teaching him has always been easy for me and his teachers. James on the other hand... James' reading lessons with me have gone well, he's picked things up very quickly, and he has no problem academically at school. But his intelligence has never been in question. Problem is, James is a rebel. He doesn't like to be told what to do and expects you to have a very good reason if you interfere. His feelings get hurt very easily, he is scared of pain (though there are times when I could swear he doesn't feel it), and he has a hard time empathizing with others. He can be very ego-centric and hard headed and even occasionally a parents worst nightmare. On the other hand, he can also be very loving and is crazy smart. If we can survive childhood and (heaven forbid I even think about it) the teenage years, he will be an adult that is a force to be reckoned with. I can't wait to see what common sense and accountability bring to his character! Here's a picture of James from a year or two ago after he got in my mascara.

Flimsy excuses.

I may be one of a small minority, but I hate A Baby Story. Oh, and don't get me started on Deliver Me. So my rant doesn't get too long, I'll just focus on A Baby Story and what set me off today. While flipping channels, I passed the beginning of one of todays shows. The parents have moved while two weeks away from their due date and are working out the getting settled in and unpacked, knowing the baby could come any day. No worries, it happens to the best of us. Then the mom goes on to say that her doctors have suggested they schedule an induction. Her first baby delivered in a relatively short 8hrs and now they are an hour away from the hospital they are worried she won't get there in time. Throw in the big baby card and Voila! you have a birth with a set start time, and due to induction procedures in most hospitals, a pretty good idea of when it will end and no sign of evidenced-based practice in sight. I just ran out of time (school conferences), but this is definitely a subject I will be revisiting.

I know the date I will go insane.

Most people can't say that. I'd say most people don't even know they are going off the deep end before it's too late, but I am one of the lucky ones. I know the day that I will lose my mind (if it doesn't happen before then) and I even know why. We are supposed to close on our new house on Oct 30th and our current home has not sold. Not only has it not sold, it also hasn't had any activity at all this last week and we have nothing planned for the coming week as well. I am literally going to go crazy if something doesn't happen within the next two weeks because after that, I have no idea what we will do. We have a lot invested in this house purchase and it just might kill us if it doesn't go through.

My poor baby.

Well, I prayed and hoped that Jasmine wouldn't get sick but it looks like nothing was going to stop it. She's been battling a fever since last night, and has spent a good bit of the day sleeping in my arms. Which actually makes this a lot better than I thought it would be. So far she hasn't been too miserable; she's been drinking, occasionally eating with a good appetite, and occasionally feeling well enough to play. And sleeping a lot, too. If she has to get sick, this has been amazingly easy on her. It certainly doesn't hurt that John was able to take most of the other kids to church and give her a few hrs of uninterrupted sleep (Jordan stayed home because he has his annual cold and I wasn't sure if it was the flu or not), and then everyone went to his parents for dinner tonight and she had a few more hrs of Mommy time. Overall, not too bad.

Snow? Already?

Yep, you read that correctly. We had our first snow of the season this week. It hasn't stuck yet and won't for a little while to come, but it's looking like we'll definitely have a white Thanksgiving, let alone Christmas. I enjoy snow actually; I like shoveling it because it gives me a guilt-free chance to get out in the fresh air, I like how much the kids enjoy it, and I love how fresh and beautiful a new fallen snow is. I don't, however, like the mud and slush that gets tracked in and how long it can take to get people bundled up and out the door. Oh well, there's trade-off's for everything.

Ughh, flu season.

Wow, what a fun week. Last week, week before last?, my niece came down with H1N1. She recovered quickly and easily, but then her sister caught it. Then Joseph caught it.... Now it's my turn. The kids recovered in 2 days and I am currently on day 3 and I think the fever has broken for good, so tomorrow I should be a lot better. I usually get sick twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall. This spring I missed it (and the seasonal allergies I have at that time as well), so I guess I'm making up for it all at once. I'm praying that Jasmine doesn't get it for several reasons, one of those being I know how miserable she would be (from first hand experience) and I am dreading the thought of dealing with a baby that miserable. Especially on top of my own recovery. I'm just grateful no one else has gotten it so far. John is currently working 60 or so hr weeks again and truly can't afford to miss out on any work time. The kids don't have school next week because of conference, so if Joseph gets sick again or James becomes ill it won't matter too much. And with Jordan and Jared homeschooling it won't matter for them at all.

Foot in my mouth.

Chjsdfklio. Whay dsfih? Nofakseiugas? Oh, you said you can't understand what I am saying? That's because my foot is in my mouth. Thank you Kimberly for pointing out that my last post could have been misconstrued. When stating that I occasionally think about the scary black breast scenario, I wasn't referrring to John as the person I wanted to scare away. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if he had more boobie time but Jasmine's head is always in the way!

Just paint them black.

Some of you know that my youngest, 19mth old Jasmine, is still nursing a limited number of times a day. Some of you also know that I'm not so thrilled about it. Truth to be told, this got old for me a long time ago but Jasmine is very attached and since I don't have a pregnancy looming on the horizon I've just let her keep going (to a point). My mother is one of those people that knows I'd rather Jasmine be weaned right now and has been subject to some of the screaming that can happen when Jasmine gets tired or crabby and wants to nurse to pacify. The last time this happened while she was on the phone, my mother told me I should paint them black. What? Paint what black, and with what? "You know, with the paint that you use for kids faces on Halloween. Paint them black and it will scare her out of nursing." And then what? Pay for her therapy bills for the next 30yrs? "No, it won't scare her that way. It will just look strange and different to her and she'll decide she doesn't want it anymore." I'm like, you don't know my daughter. This is the child that will nurse through a shirt and has even given my hickies because she has latched onto the wrong body part and didn't care enough to stop nursing and had to be forcibly disengaged and relatched. Now John on the other hand, painting them black just might scare him off the breast for good. The saddest thing of all? There are some times when I even consider it.

Open house anyone?

Yesterday was our turn to put on the dreaded open house. Leaving your home for hours, letting total strangers (possibly a LOT of total strangers) traipse through your home, the cleaning and air freshener spraying, and decluttering. It's a lot of work and at the end of the day, it may have all been for nothing. Ours yesterday wasn't quite as successful as we had hoped. Two couples did come by and view the house, but both were looking for larger places. I will say, however, it was unbelievably nice to wake up and know that there was nothing for me to do. No dishes waiting or bathrooms desperately needing to be scrubbed. Of course my kids have been up for the last few hours and that means the cleanliness will quickly disappear, but I at least got to savor it for a little while.

Call me crazy but..

Has anyone seen the trailers for the new Drew Barrymore/Ellen Page movie Whip It? Got to say, I love Ellen Page. Juno is definitely on my high list of movies. But back to Whip It, or more accurately, roller derby. I've been interested in roller derby off and on, not a card carrying member mind you, but I used to love roller skating as a kid (still do, no matter how uncool that makes me) and the thought of getting to roller skate AND legally hit people at the same time appeals to the inner mean kid in me. I mean, c'mon, what better way to burn off steam than moving fast and participating in a contact sport? That's what football and hockey are all about, right? So, just out of curiosity, I looked up roller derby for Montana and found a league right there in Billings. I even went so far as to email one of the league owners for info. Nothing will probably come of it, at least one team practices on Sundays and that's a no go for me, but it doesn't hurt to check it out right? Right????

Picture Trouble

While looking at my blog, I have come to the conclusion that I need to stick a photo up. Makes it more personal, etc, etc. Problem is, I can't find almost a single picture of me on my computer. Yeah there is the occasional one where I'm in the background, but pictures meant to be of me? Not so much. Apparently I've been avoiding the camera for so many years it has become second nature. For those of you that have seen our Christmas photos, you may have noticed that John and I haven't been in them for the last 3 yrs or so. This yr a client is taking professional photos for us as partial payment for my fee; I can't say as how I'm looking forward to the thought but I suppose years from now my kids would like to be able to show their grandkids what their parents looked like. As it is now they're stuck with photos where I couldn't manage to get out of the shot in time. "Oh look, here's one with the back of great-grandma's head, and in this one you can actually see a bit of her profile." I vowed to never allow myself to send out a family photo with me in it until I've gotten down to my prepregnancy weight (not Jasmine's prepregnancy weight, I've already made that, I'd like to be at my preneverhadababy weight) and it looks like I'll be breaking that vow this year. I wonder if they have all over body slimming control top suits?

I'd rather paint than clean!

Some of you, dear readers, know that John and I are buying a house in Montana and are planning on moving there at the end of next month. For those of you that didn't know, Surprise! After a little more than a week of frantic work on our current home, John and I finished the last part of renovations and cleaning today and just happened to have our first showing today as well. No telling, of course, how it went but even if they aren't interested I am confident that it isn't due to how the house showed. John worked like a demon, painting, repairing things that have been on our list for months (sometimes even years), and downsizing our belongings. Literally half of the stuff we own is now in a storage locker a few miles away. Now I want to know, why couldn't we have done this before? It wouldn't affect our decision to buy a new home, we outgrew this one almost 2 yrs ago, but it's really nice living in a house where you can see the actual paint color instead of dirty hand prints. Washing the walls can only do so much, since eventually the paint disappears and all you have left is drywall. Why didn't I realize before how much easier it is to throw a coat of paint on occasionally than it is to keep scrubbing the same areas over and over again? I made it clear to John that this would not be happening in our new home. The kids better get used to the smell of paint, because I fully intend to freshen it up every chance I get.

Potty humor

Looks like I'll be starting out with a lot of potty related humor. Just a few minutes ago, my lovely 4yr old daughter managed to get a toilet seat stuck on her head. Now admittedly, it was a foam seat for a potty chair, but it still begs you to ask several questions. First and foremost being, WHY? Not one to let a good opportunity pass by, I immediately sent her to show her father and then asked him to record a quick clip for posterity. I even held her hair out of the way so we could be sure to know which child it is yrs from now when we view the clip. Since it was foam, I managed to get her out pretty easily without a single scratch though I wouldn't have minded if it had dented her ego a touch. She has got to be one of the vainest children I've ever seen. She can't walk past shiny surfaces without stopping to admire herself, and every time a camera comes out she's instantly ready for her photo shoot. Her grandmother even told me that she once took Jocelyn and my next child up, James, for a walk along the river and every time Jocelyn threw a rock in she posed afterward as if she was standing on the red carpet. The years ahead should be interesting.

The beginning....

Long story short, one of my sisters asked me to think about starting a blog. Apparently I'm occasionally amusing and insightful, but a bit long winded when on the phone (though she didn't actually state the long winded part, I was still able to read between the lines). Ergo, a blog. All the cute and funniness of me, and maybe sometimes the crabbiness, in one convenient package. No telephone ear, where you've been on so long your ear is actually cramping, and no long distance charges to your cell phone. As for the name, I'm not sure I want to go into that. Alright, I will anyway since you asked so nicely. I sat at my husband's computer for at least an hr silently cursing it (it has a love hate relationship with us. It loves him and hates me) and trying to think of a name for this blog. After obsessing over it and coming up with nothing, a flash of one of the most embarrasing, humiliating, and funniest times I've ever had while being a mom flipped through my mind. I figured that had to be it. It completely summed up my experience as a mom and life in general. Years back, when my husband was in college and I was working full time as an apartment manager for subsidized housing, I had a tenant over one evening finishing up paperwork. John was doing housework, helping me with paper work, whatever and our oldest son Jordan (an only child at the time, though that was only for two more months since I was 7mths pregnant) was across the room from me squatting down beside a toy playing. While I was talking to this tenant, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Jordan stand up with something held gingerly in the palm of his hand. I couldn't tell what it was and mentioned it to John who, along wth our tenant, turned to take a look. John asks Jordan, our barely verbal 2yr old, what it was and our tenant starts trying to guess. Due to the size and shape she asks, "Is that a pickle?" Some of you may have already figured out where this was going, but for those of you that haven't gotten there yet I'll add a few details that I left out. As I mentioned before Jordan was two, and being two, we had decided it was time to potty train. And since we were potty training, Jordan's lower half was naked. See where I'm going with this now? Yes, Jordan was standing across the living room while I talked to a client for my new job (I had only been there a month and the office was out of my home) holding one of the largest turds ever to come out of a two yr olds rear. John almost immediately figured out what it was and rushed for Jordan, taking him to the bathroom to flush it, wash his hands (scrub them, actually), and put a diaper on him. And what did I do? I put my head on my desk and laughed until I cried. It was either that or die of embarrassment. So that's how I ended up with my blog name; when between a rock and a hard place, I decided to throw my hands up in the air and laugh. Hopefully we'll do a lot of laughing along the way and at the end of it, I'll be a better mom and more rounded person. As for you, if nothing else, I'll do my best to entertain you.
Jennifer